I am a pale girl.  I am one of those people who never tan.  I burn.  No burn then tan… nope – full on burn and maybe a freckle or two.  I did my time in tanning beds back in the day, but I in no way wanted to go back.  So I thought, why not a spray tan?

I had always thought spray tans were for body builders and pageant girls.  I didn’t know how natural it would look on my almost purple looking skin.  But I thought I would give it a shot.  So I went to Twitter to ask for suggestions.  My friend Sean William (aka @BostonMo) suggested Femme Fatale Airbrush Tan.  I Tweeted and heard back from the owner, Amy, who told me to come on in and I had nothing to worry about.  Her words were “I am super pale and only burn in the sun so this is my only option to not look the a snow globe.”  I knew she was my girl.


I arrived for my appointment not knowing fully what to expect.  They send a very detailed email to you so you know how to prepare, but what happens when the door closes was a mystery.  Dylan met me and brought me into the spray tan room.


She gave me a hair net, some stickers for my feet so the bottoms didn’t get tan, and the smallest paper thong I had ever seen in my life.

That little black thing is the thong.

I was about to get really naked in front of a stranger.  And I was about to be asked to bend in positions I have only been in when I was in a completely different situation if you know what I mean.  She left the room and I put on the two inches of paper clothing and told her I was ready.


It is at this point she says “turn around and bend over”.  I was feeling so self-conscious.  However, we started talking and by the time we were done I didn’t even realize I was naked.  In fact, because we started talking about radio, she told me the funniest Ryan Seacrest story.  Her mom worked on Amerian Idol so he was a friend.  If you ever get Dylan, have her tell you the story.  It’s hilarious.  Before I knew it she had sprayed every nook and cranny with tanner and I took a look in the mirror.  I was freaking glowing.  It’s at this point she set a timer, turned on a fan, and said “dry off, turn around, get every part”.


Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m not much of a naked person.  I don’t walk around the house that way, just don’t feel that comfortable.  But, for ten minutes it is you, a fan, and a full length mirror.  Quite a bit to take in.  But the more I dried, the more comfortable I got with myself.  I was not expecting this feeling of confidence – a very wonderful side effect.  Once the kitty kat timer went “ding” she came back in and covered me in a coating of powder.  She used what looked to be a big blush brush and dusted every part of me.  It was lovely.  I put on my clothes and went out into the world.  She suggested returning every week and a half or so.  I was also sent home with post-care instructions that included not showering for 8 hours so the tan had time to get into the pores .


One of the things that happens during that 8 hours is that the color deepens. A lot.  They tell you about this, but you really aren’t expecting how dark it gets.  However, I really started to like it and was a little concerned that I wouldn’t see tan after my shower.  WRONG.  I was a beautiful nutty-tinted goddess.  I have never liked to wear dresses that show off my legs because they are remakably pale.  I always felt like you could see every imperfection.  But now all I saw was golden deliciousness.  I wore a dress the next day that I normally wear leggings under – I left those bitches at home.  Guys, I seriously felt a level of confidence I haven’t felt in a long time.

You might say – really – a tan did all that.  YES.  All day long yes.  I just felt a little more comfortable in my skin.  I got compliments the next day.  And it wasn’t “did you get sun?” it was “you look great today!” or “you look happy today”.  It’s a little thing, but it was huge in my spirit.

So, if you are looking for a little boost, go get naked in front of a stranger.  Tell em Kennedy sent you!

This is the best sign I’ve ever seen.