Single again.  Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.  So, rather than sit around and mope I decided to put the fate of my love in the hands of the Russians, or whoever is controlling the internet these days and put it out there on the apps Bumble and Hinge.

Bumble, for those of you in loving relationships, is a dating app which lets the ladies make the first move.  So I can swipe to my hearts content, but when it comes to first contact, I have to do it.  Totally out of my comfort zone, but like the man says, “do something that scares you every day”.  This scares me.  A lot.

My parameters are a man over the age of 40.  That’s it.  And the results are staggering.  Hinge has an interesting feature in that it asks fun questions and gives the opportunity to get a better idea of a potential dates personality.  Things like: “what’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?” or “what would be your last meal?”.  Here are some of the answers from the guys in my dating pool…

SERIOUSLY?
I can’t.
What is a complicated marriage? Does your wife know it’s complicated?
Well, at least he’s honest.
I have no words.

 

So, after all this I started a few conversations with a few different folks.  One of them went so far as to offer his phone number and plan for a date.  The date was supposed to happen today.  Haven’t heard from him since.  So, that went well.

Then I had this exchange.

So this went well.

The time between the “look forward to hearing from you” and my response was 24 hours.  I worked all day yesterday so I just wasn’t checking.  But, Jesus, that escalated quickly.  I mean, like that’s super aggressive.

I am trying to remain positive, but a big house in the country with 800 dogs is starting to look better and better every day.